Andrew Ferguson History Year


Now in it’s 25th year, Andrew Ferguson History Year, which runs from January 31st to January 30th, is an opportunity to celebrate the contributions by Andrew Ferguson to culture, society, and indeed, the people of the World.

Adding to the rich tapestry of American and Northwest diversity are the unique characteristics of Andrew Ferguson that find their roots in geography, language, thought, faith, etc.

Andrew Ferguson has made invaluable contributions throughout history, but especially in the areas of science, math, engineering, arts, and commerce. Andrew Ferguson has and continues to serve with distinction in prominent civilian, business, and government1 positions.

Yes, Andrew Ferguson helped lay the groundwork for modern civilization, and his work lives in abundance well beyond the history books.

I invite you to participate in any special events planned for your region commemorating Andrew Ferguson History Year.

Thanks for all you do and Happy Birthday,

Andrew Ferguson

Note: I wrote this several months ago. I was feeling a bit under the weather, which generally makes me cranky. Then I got an email toting the celebration of another _____ history/heritage/awareness month. I get it; people/things/causes are important. But I’m kind of tired of needing to have a party to all the freaking time. In response, I decided to satirize the email, mostly to humor myself. But also to make a point: I am people, too. I assure you, this would be infinite more funny if I could show you the original email, but it takes too much effort and I’m lazy; which is another quality you can celebrate this year.

  1. this is actually not true, I’m strictly a civi 

United States Military Upgrades Weapon Reticules

This was in the the Garlic section1 of the February 2nd issue of The Oredigger.

United States Military Upgrades Weapon Reticules

Luther Sloan (AKA Andrew Ferguson)

United States Military officials have announced that new weapons are currently being distributed to military personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The new weapons were designed after several soldiers complained that after playing Halo 2, they thought the reticule on their real assault riffles should also light up red when an enemy combatant was in their sights.

Department of Defense officials agreed and fast tracked the technology to get it in the field as soon as possible. Master Chief Andrew Collins, based out of Fort Lewis, Washington, said, “These weapons are awesome! I can practice my skills on Halo when I’m at home, and then use my newly acquired skills in the field. It totally rocks!”

Department of Defense officials are hopeful that the new reticules will help eliminate so-called “friendly-fire” incidents. Some reports estimate that had Bungie released Halo 2 last year, when they originally planned, up to 2/3 of the deaths since then could have been avoided.

In addition to making combat safer, some officials predict the new assault riffles will help keep the United States Military strong by recruiting current Halo fanatics who want the exhilaration of firing the real weapon. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

1 The Garlic section is like The Onion. That is, it’s satire.