Mediation…or Not

The times they are a-changin’.

This post seems to be older than 17 years—a long time on the internet. It might be outdated.

Tuesday rolled around a few days ago and, like I last reported, it was mediation time. I arrived a bit early as I didn’t want to be late. 6pm came and went and no Lady-Downstairs. It wasn’t until 6:15 that she finally showed.

We got started.

The first bit of business was to sign the Agreement to Mediate. It’s a really short agreement that basically says:

  1. The mediators are neutral parties parties and will not decide who is right and wrong
  2. The mediators will not offer legal advice
  3. For mediation to be effective, it must be confidential. Of particular note, you waive all rights to call the mediator(s) as a witness; you waive all rights to subpoena any records of the mediators once mediation is completed; the exception being documents allowed by law to be made public; no audio or video recordings
  4. Full disclosure of all relevant and pertinent information
  5. You can leave mediation at anytime
  6. If an agreement is reached, a Memorandum of Understanding will be created and finalized.

Those are pretty much the highlights. So after carefully pouring over it all (the actual text is only a single page, both sides), I’m ready to sign.

Wait for it….waaaait for it….

Lady-Downstairs says, “I’m sorry to do this, but I’m going to need some more time to look this over.”

There it is!

I really like one of the mediators response, “That’s you prerogative.”

She then launches into this “I’ve been really busy and I’m up for tenure and I have these meetings and…and…and it’s really exciting, but I’m also really stressed and I don’t need this extra stress and I’ll be done in a couple weeks…how does that work for you?”

Oh give me a break.

Do not. I repeat. Do not waste my time with this bullshit. First you cancel, now you delay. I think everyone gets the picture, you just a tad bit egotistical.

I’m really waiting for her world to come crashing down once she realizes she doesn’t have a friggin’ leg to stand on (about the noise, that is).

Vindication is a wonderful thing.

So we’re back to square one. Oh, and right before I started writing this up, she knocked again…twice. I think if she calls again, I’m just going to call the police and let them know that my neighbor has been and is continuing to harass me.

You know what would be funny…if I got a restraining order for her.

Oy vey.