FTS: Fuck This Shit

The following will be a very vulgar rant.

Fuck the lady downstairs! Fuck her and her demands. Fuck her and fucking broomstick! How the fuck do you go through life? No really?!? How the fuck do people talk to you? Why the fuck do you still have a job?!? You complained about how noisy I was. I’ve tried to be accommodating! I have gone so far out my fucking way to be so goddamn fucking accommodating for you. I’ve been quiet! I’ve studying out in the living room instead of in my room! I’ve tried to identify what the fuck you keep complaining about. I’ve had the fucking creaky floors fixed! I’ve so fucking quiet! Why the fuck can you leave me the fuck alone?!?!

I’m in bed, talking on the phone in the softest voice I can. BAM FUCKING BAM FUCKING BAM. Fucking scared the shit out of me. What the fuck was that, I ask. Was I really that loud? No. Not even five fucking minutes later. BAM FUCKING BAM FUCKING BAM, again! What the fuck?!? No really! WHAT THE FUCK! I’m tired of this fucking shit. I will buy you a fucking lot of earplugs and GIVE them to you. Please, just leave me the fuck alone! No more fucking banging. Just go fuck your boyfriend Scott and his silver BMW and go to fucking bed. Please!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. AAAAAAAARGH!

11 Replies to “FTS: Fuck This Shit”

  1. what happened to the plan you devised earlier this year, seriously confront her. If you stay calm and professional about it, you will win!

  2. i saw this post on facebook.
    did you ever see the episode of friends like this?
    where the creepy guy downstairs would bang his broomstick against the ceiling when monica, rachel, etc weren’t making any noise?
    and then he died and the noise continued…

  3. omg!!! mr. heckles!! thats one of the best friends episodes ever! thats when phoebe gets ross to admit that he isnt positive about evolution. tis amazing. and yeah, they start going through his apartment after he dies and when theyre down there, they always here these loud noises and realize he wasnt (as) crazy as they thought.

    i also like the mr heckles when rachel loses ross’s monkey and asks mr heckles where it is and mr heckles claims that he also has a monkey and if they find a monkey, they have to give it to him because its his.

    FYI to anyone unawares: scott is a name derived from a deep corner of andrews imagination, as is the fucking.

  4. “FYI to anyone unawares: scott is a name derived from a deep corner of andrews imagination, as is the fucking.”

    This is actually true. I really don’t know the guys name nor do I have proof that they fuck, but I have my suspicions.

  5. Don’t you know that you know people that know people that can make this all go away? And I mean it in the biblical sense. His record has been expunged but he hasn’t forgotten what he was taught…… Guido

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