Ben and Caitlin No More

Caitlin actually beat Ben to punch on this one, sending her email out a full 3 minutes sooner…at least that’s what Gmail reports. In any event, after 5 wonderful years including almost all of high school, they broke up. I was initally confused by the email, but after it was explained to me, I thought it was a cleaver way to let everyone know what happened and that they’ll still be friends.

Dear Folks,

We are writing this evening to inform you that we (Ben and Caitlin) have recently finalized our divorce. Our July 2004 elopement in Vegas and honeymoon in Fiji were some of best weeks of our lives. However, the birth of our twins Oliver and Jennifer led to a gradual decline in our relationship. We now see how we were not ready to get married as we did not have the support of our peers and no real jobs or degrees of any kind to feed our little “bundles of joy” (sigh). After our run-in with CPS, and the incident with the “Federalies”, we decided it was best to give them the opportunity to be fed and changed on a daily basis. We are ending our boyfriend/girlfriend status, but will continue to date/’chillax.’ We know this is the end of an era, and hope you will all be able to cope with this drastic change to your emotional and social support system, as we were the backbone of this posse.
We have not yet set a date for the “Divorce Party of the Century” due to the pending custody battle, Mexico v. Rhode Island, concerning OJ, whom we are eager for you to meet.

We don’t know what course each of our lives will take, but as we end this stage of our relationship, we leave the options open for getting back together in the future.

Sincerely yours,

Ben and Caitlin

[tags]ben andersen, caitlin swanson[/tags]

3 Replies to “Ben and Caitlin No More”

  1. Holy Crap Ferg!!! I hadn’t known we’d died…but I do appreciate the thought and effort. Maybe we could put together a more up-beat one now…???

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