Dear Neighbors

Came home from Woody’s tonight to find this note waiting for Matt and myself:

Hi – Dear Neighbor, –

I came up to talk w/ you but you are out. I have to be at work very early ( I teach High School) each day. City Ordinance for noise is 10 pm. Please respect Quite hours in this complex; everyone here worksin the am. Im in bed by 10, so is Le. (your next door neighbor)

My bedroom is the last room back. And yes, I can hear everything. So, yes, you woke me up several timis [sic] last night. I’d appreciate it if you could please remember: I’ve asked twice now! 🙂 Also, if youre in the living room I don’t seem to hear you at night. Hope thats helpful.

Thank you for your consideration.

La

800

You have got to be kidding me. I probably shouldn’t get this wound up about it, but I really just want to scream, “What the fuck?!?” Yes, you came up stairs last night and explained how you were trying to sleep since 10pm and we were keeping you up. I apologized for being noisy, even though we weren’t. But please, don’t start our relationship off like this. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, but when you start asking for unreasonable things like this…bortaS bIr jablu’DI’, reH QaQqu’ nay’.

I’m also tired of being treated like a teenager. And she never asked twice. I think someone needs some remedial math skills….”Okay kids! Counting starts at one. And what comes after one? Two! That’s right!”

Here’s my imaginary letter I’m going to write to La:

Dear Neighbor,

Thank you for sharing your concerns. Sorry both of us were out, one of the side effects of being social, I guess. I understand that you have to be up very early. I go to college, just in case you were not aware of this fact. One of the great things about college is all the studying we have to do. Unfortunately, this often keeps us up late. While we try our best to keep quite, it is regrettable that we sometimes are louder then 10dB.

I also appreciate your concern for Le. It is very admirable for you to stick up for her, especially since she is no longer in grade school.

Regarding placement of your bedroom, the location is unfortunate. I would suggest moving it to another location. I have found that I do not often occupy the kitchen after 10pm, so if you were to locate your bedroom under the Northeastern most area of our complex, you should find it much quieter.

I would also be willing to buy you a pair of ear plugs.

I also took the liberty to lookup the ordinance in question and regret to inform you that no such ordinance exists. For your records, the closest law I was able to fine is:
From ci.golden.co.us:

8.04.310 Disturbing the peace/persons

It is unlawful for any person to disturb or tend to disturb the peace of others by violent, tumultuous, offensive or obstreperous conduct, by loud or unusual noises, or by unseemly, profane, obscene or offensive language; or for any person to permit any such conduct in any house or upon any premises owned, possessed, managed or controlled by such person or persons so that others in the vicinity are or may be disturbed. (Ord. 1142, 1992; Ord. 626 §1, 1970).

Just to be thorough, I also elected to search the Colorado Revised Statutes. Again, I regret to inform you that no such law exists. If you believe that my search is erroneous, I would appreciate the precise listing of the law you paraphrased in your earlier letter.

Thank you for your cooperation,

Andrew
804

P.S. Suck my balls.

——————————————————-

That’s what I would like to write. In reality. I’m not going to do a single thing about it, except post this short little rant about it. God bless the Internet.

10 Replies to “Dear Neighbors”

  1. Hm… I most definitely think that I will run out of sugar and need to borrow some from you thursday around 11 pm. I be sure to knock real loud so you can hear me and you should be sure to give me a complete tour of your house. I’ll wear my cool new, loud clogs over so you can see them.

  2. Woody’s does still have college night. However, it is now $6/person and they’re making you show college ID. They also changed the pricing on the salad/soup bar, but I don’t remember what they changed it to.

  3. If you’re truly keeping her awake – however noisy or not-noisy you are – then I’d say she’s being super-extra nice to you. Housing’s most fundamental purpose is to provide a place to sleep. Your super-special status as a college student doesn’t change that, and isn’t her problem.

    What exactly do you imagine she could do that would be friendlier and more reasonable? What could the note possibly have said that wouldn’t have pissed you off?

    I had an experience with noisy neighbors once. I tried to reason with them. I talked to them quietly and politely. Didn’t work. Maybe my quiet pleading got them hugely pissed off, the way it seems to have done for you.

    I’ve learned my lesson, though. If I have to deal with noisy neighbors again, I’m going to be a huge dick about it – I’ll start with complaints to the landlord and calls to the police, and I’ll proceed to a lawsuit if necessary. My sleep is more important than my neighbor’s “right” to make a racket, and being neighborly and reasonable about it apparently doesn’t work.

  4. “If you?re truly keeping her awake – however noisy or not-noisy you are – then I?d say she?s being super-extra nice to you.”

    Let’s say, for example, that she’s a super-light sleeper. In fact, she’s such a light sleeper that the act of me waking up in the middle of the night and tip-toeing to the fridge for a midnight snack is enough to wake her up. Sure, I’m making some noise: it’s impossible not to. But have I made a rreasonable amount of noise for her to complain about? Not even close.

    “Your super-special status as a college student doesn?t change that, and isn?t her problem.”
    I’m not saying that I have ‘super-special status.’

    “What exactly do you imagine she could do that would be friendlier and more reasonable? What could the note possibly have said that wouldn?t have pissed you off?”
    The main issue I had with the letter is that she was arrogant. A simple request to try and be quieter would been a much better approach. Then, we could work together to determine what exactly we were doing that seemed loud to her. Once we know that, we can develop a plan that works for everyone.

    “I had an experience with noisy neighbors once. I tried to reason with them. I talked to them quietly and politely. Didn?t work. Maybe my quiet pleading got them hugely pissed off, the way it seems to have done for you.”
    Just because you had a bad experience with your neighbors doens’t mean that all neighbors are unreasonable. I also would not call her note a ‘quite pleading.’ I wouldn’t characterize my response as pissed off, either. I’m frustrated that she felt she had to escalate this matter in the way she did and I wish that should could have found a better way talk with out about the problem.

    “If I have to deal with noisy neighbors again, I?m going to be a huge dick about it – I?ll start with complaints to the landlord and calls to the police, and I?ll proceed to a lawsuit if necessary.”
    Good for you, I guess. If she feels she needs to complain to the landlord or the police, that’s fine. I talk to whomever she calls and kindly and calmly explain the situation and present my side. Who do you think will come out on the top? The obviously arrogant woman whose up in arms or the calm young gentleman who is actually making valid points?

    “My sleep is more important than my neighbor?s ?right? to make a racket”
    I’m not saying that I have a right to make a racket. I do, though, have a right to go about my business in a respectable manor that is consistent with community standards and the applicable law.

    “[B]eing neighborly and reasonable about it apparently doesn?t work.”
    You have to be neighborly and resonable about it first, which she hasn’t.

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