Stewie Griffin Quotes

Probably the two greatest quotes from Family Guy, found from Quinn’s Facebook Profile:

“Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I’m not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love “Mr. Plow”! Oh, you’ve got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!”

“How you uh, how you comin’ on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you’re working on there? Your big novel you’ve been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.”

Nightly Builds

I’ve made Nightly builds of my plugins available. Builds are only listed if anything has changed (using an MD5 checksum). Builds usually work because they are exact copies of what I use on my site, but I make no guarantee whatsoever. Have at it, enjoy, and let me know if you don’t see something that you want, or if you see a better way to do something!

Stuff About Google You Didn’t Need to Know, But Still Might Find Interesting

From Alan.Blog-City.com:

  1. The prime reason the Google home page is so bare is due to the fact that the founders didn’t know HTML and just wanted a quick interface. Infact it was noted that the submit button was a long time coming and hitting the RETURN key was the only way to burst Google into life.
  2. Due to the sparseness of the homepage, in early user tests they noted people just sitting looking at the screen. After a minute of nothingness, the tester intervened and asked ‘Whats up?’ to which they replied “We are waiting for the rest of it”. To solve that particular problem the Google Copyright message was inserted to act as a crude end of page marker.
  3. One of the biggest leap in search usage came about when they introduced their much improved spell checker giving birth to the “Did you mean…” feature. This instantly doubled their traffic, but they had some interesting discussions on how best to place that information, as most people simply tuned that out. But they discovered the placement at the bottom of the results was the most effective area.
  4. The infamous “I feel lucky” is nearly never used. However, in trials it was found that removing it would somehow reduce the Google experience. Users wanted it kept. It was a comfort button.
  5. Orkut is very popular in Brazil. Orkut was the brainchild of a very intelligent Google engineer who was pretty much given free reign to run with it, without having to go through the normal Google UI procedures, hence the reason it doesn’t look or feel like a Google application. They are looking at improving Orkut to cope with the loads it places on the system.
  6. Google makes changes small-and-often. They will sometimes trial a particular feature with a set of users from a given network subnet; for example Excite@Home users often get to see new features. They aren’t told of this, just presented with the new UI and observed how they use it.
  7. Google has the largest network of translators in the world
  8. They use the 20% / 5% rules. If at least 20% of people use a feature, then it will be included. At least 5% of people need to use a particular search preference before it will make it into the ‘Advanced Preferences’.
  9. They have found in user testing, that a small number of people are very typical of the larger user base. They run labs continually and always monitoring how people use a page of results.
  10. The name ‘Google’ was an accident. A spelling mistake made by the original founders who thought they were going for ‘Googol’
  11. Gmail was used internally for nearly 2years prior to launch to the public. They discovered there was approximately 6 types of email users, and Gmail has been designed to accommodate these 6.
  12. They listen to feedback actively. Emailing Google isn’t emailing a blackhole.
  13. Employees are encouraged to use 20% of their time working on their own projects. Google News, Orkut are both examples of projects that grew from this working model.
  14. This wasn’t a technical talk so no information regarding any infrastructure was presented however they did note that they have a mantra of aiming to give back each page with in 500ms, rendered.
  15. Quote: Give Users What They Want When They Want It
  16. Quote: Integrate Sensibly

Google came to the Mines campus last year and it was an awesome presentation to go to. I was also able to snag a free Google shirt and have started Google Friday’s (where I wear my Google shirt of Friday’s). Also, I heard of a different naming story for Google that involved one of the VC’s spelling the name wrong on the check.

1.5 Billion

The World Health Organization (WHO) is saying that 1.5 billion! (yes, billion) people will be obese by 2015. For the record, obese means having a BMI higher than 30. Now it’s important to note that I’m not bashing on obese people just because I can. I’ve had to endure a 2.5 hour flight sitting next to obese woman and the Federal government has reported that obese persons flying have risen ticket prices. Health insurance is also going up to the many medial complications that obese people can face. And while you may think about chewing me out because being obese is “something your can’t control,” I kindly remind you that you were not born fat.

Link via Boing Boing via Carbwire

Thursdays with Fergie: Table Mountain Animal Clinic

Liz Purdy, one of my Seattle-based buddies sent this email out to us:

here’s a thought i had for the dualbs: my friend molly from ohio who lives across the hall has set up a “story of the day” with her friends that are all over at different colleges. each one of her friends has taken a day and sends out a story of a funny experience, awkward moment, general college life, etc. she always calls me into her room to read them and laugh with her. i’ve gotten to the point where now i look forward to the story of the day from her friends, so…

I picked Thursday. Today is Thursday. So here goes:

This event happened about 3 weeks ago. Ben Sikora, one of my roommates, had recently gotten a kitten from Table Mountain Animal Clinic (TMAC) a local animal shelter about 10 minutes from where we live. After much debate about names for the kitten (including almost naming it Benzyl), Ben decided to call him Kitty. Unfortunately, Kitty wasn’t feeling so well and Ben had to take him back to TMAC to get put down (the vet thought that Kitty had distemper).So back to TMAC we went and we had to wait for some time because like many non-profit animal shelters, they were understaffed.
This guy comes in with his dog and two daughters, perhaps aged 2 and 5. The man probably made less than what I pay in tuition every year, which I only mention to develop a mental picture. The youngest one wore only a shirt and dipper while the elder wore a dress that had been worn many times but washed only a handful (none of which were recent). The dog was muscular, but not oversized, and was restrained only by a leash (no collar) which the man had attached to the dog by looping the end of the leash through the handle and thusly creating a simple, yet effective noose. Having only two hands, both of which were occupied with keeping the dog at bay, the man had very little control of his kids.
Ben, myself, and Sarah (Ben’s girlfriend) sat at the far corner, directly across from where the man and his dog sat. By this time, his children had wondered off directly to the man’s right to look at a half dozen cats put up in temporary cages in the lobby. The kids, naturally curious of what were in the cages, stuck their fingers in to try and pet the cats. By this time I had lost interest in what the kids were doing, turning my attention back to Ben (who was very sad, although he would never admit it, even now) and his cat. The eldest daughter let out a little yelp and my head jerked to the left to see what was going on: I caught the tail end of her jerking her hand back. The father, seeing her jerk her hand back, said something to the effect of, “See, I told you would get bitten if you kept sticking your fingers in the cage.” The girl, slightly perplexed, shook her head and pointed to her little sister. The lobby let out a little chuckle and my day was made slightly better.

My Call to Lockheed Martin, et al.

Here it is folks. I’m putting myself out on the market and I think you, Lockheed Martin, should listen. There is no doubt in anyone mind about the shortage of engineers being produced at American colleges and university’s. What ever the reason may be (financial, desire, learning, etc), it is now in the hands of corporate America to help solve the problem. So here is what I propose to you. Sponsor me. For every year that you pay for my college, I will guarentee to work at least one year for your company. The details of this arrangement are subject to negotiation, so put on your thinking caps and tell me what you want from me.

Moore’s Law Applied to Dating

For those that haven’t the slightest clue as to what Moore’s law is, “Moore’s law is the empirical observation that at our rate of technological development, the complexity of an integrated circuit, with respect to minimum component cost will double in about 24 months.” (Wikipedia.org: Moore’s Law) In short, if you bought a computer now, you could buy one twice as fast for the same price in about two years. The conundrum is this, if computer technology keeps changing, when do you buy a computer? Well, there really is not answer except to just bite the bullet and buy one right now.

Here’s how it applies to dating. In theory, there is a perfect girlfriend (or boyfriend for the females who might be reading) out there somewhere. And with every passing moment, the chances of running into that girl/boyfriend is slightly higher. One might say that if you wait two years, the odds are significantly better (similar to Moore’s law). So what’s a guy or gal to do? And I think that’s my problem. I’m waiting for the proverbial one pound, 1GHz computer (such a computer is said to be the perfect computer because it is both small and fast, two traits that are highly desirable in a computer. This computer also happens to be a girl). Instead, I need to just “bite the bullet” (I know that sounds somewhat bad, but I’m sticking with my “Moore’s law” analogy here) and go for it.

Thoughts?