The times they are a-changin’.
This post seems to be older than 18 years—a long time on the internet. It might be outdated.
This was in the the Garlic section1 of the February 2nd issue of The Oredigger.
United States Military Upgrades Weapon Reticules
Luther Sloan (AKA Andrew Ferguson)
United States Military officials have announced that new weapons are currently being distributed to military personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The new weapons were designed after several soldiers complained that after playing Halo 2, they thought the reticule on their real assault riffles should also light up red when an enemy combatant was in their sights.Department of Defense officials agreed and fast tracked the technology to get it in the field as soon as possible. Master Chief Andrew Collins, based out of Fort Lewis, Washington, said, “These weapons are awesome! I can practice my skills on Halo when I’m at home, and then use my newly acquired skills in the field. It totally rocks!”
Department of Defense officials are hopeful that the new reticules will help eliminate so-called “friendly-fire” incidents. Some reports estimate that had Bungie released Halo 2 last year, when they originally planned, up to 2/3 of the deaths since then could have been avoided.
In addition to making combat safer, some officials predict the new assault riffles will help keep the United States Military strong by recruiting current Halo fanatics who want the exhilaration of firing the real weapon. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
1 The Garlic section is like The Onion. That is, it’s satire.
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